


Would That Be Wrong?

by ThE_black_Midnight



Category: Oxenfree
Genre: Arguing, Birds, Dogs, Ferrets, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Maybe - Freeform, Out of Character, Poodles, Rabbits, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and bunnies, birds will rule the world, enjoy maybe?, ferret armies, i think that works, idk - Freeform, it's so cute no lie, nice, they're mentioned but whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9514544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThE_black_Midnight/pseuds/ThE_black_Midnight
Summary: It takes a moment before the reality of it sinks in, and Alex is left dumbfounded in the face of stupidity. Ren and Jonas are in each other’s faces, a small ferret donned in a fitted military outfit in Ren’s arms, and a fluffy poodle at Jonas’ feet. This, Alex remembers, was supposed to be a hangout, not a full-on pet war.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a stupid idea me and a very nice friend of mine (Dragoness) on Discord came up with! it's ridiculous and stupid and short (and also my first fic so hey, how nice). this might also be ooc, first time writing for oxenfree :') sorry about that

    It takes a moment before the reality of it sinks in, and Alex is left dumbfounded in the face of stupidity. Ren and Jonas are in each other’s faces, a small ferret donned in a fitted military outfit in Ren’s arms, and a fluffy poodle at Jonas’ feet. This, Alex remembers, was supposed to be a hangout, not a full-on pet war.

    “I’m sorry you’re so uneducated about my General Button,” Ren snorts.  
    “What kind of a name is General Button anyway?” Jonas shot back.  
    “Well what kind of a name is Pudding?”  
    “Would it be wrong,” Alex began. “To judge you both over your own World War III?”

    Ren and Jonas both make a face at Alex, and she almost regrets asking the question. Almost. She allows herself a snarky grin, before gently beginning to prod at the wings of the bird sitting comfortably on her shoulder. When Ren told them both to bring a pet, Alex hadn’t imagined this was what he meant.

    “So why are you two fighting anyway?”  
    “Pretty city boy Jonas here thought his dogs were better than my ferret army-”  
    “For your information, they’re still better.”  
    “Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you over how awesome my ferrets are, Jonah.”  
    “I’ll have you know-”  
    “Oh my God, you two. Could you be quiet? Pet the ferret, or the dog? Or both?” Alex berates them. “I didn’t think I’d be the mom of this hangout, but some things never change, I guess.”

    It takes another moment before Jonas finally has the mind to back off, huffing and brushing off his jacket. There wasn’t anything on it though, Alex observes, so she guesses it’s Jonas’ way of cooling off? Ren, on the other hand, is adorning a sly grin, something that was never a good sign if Alex knew anything from experience.

    “You know, you should save Alex the headache by admitting-”  
    “That we all like bunnies!” Alex chirped. “I love those lopsided bunnies, the ones with the droopy ears! Doesn’t Nona have one like that? I think she named it Twinkie.”  
    Jonas immediately brightened up, and -not without glaring at Ren, of course- began to add on to Alex’s love for them.  
    “They’re so small,” he murmured, eyes glassing over. “I think it should be illegal to be that cute.” Alex wasn’t all too surprised her alternative worked, truth be told. While it may have been difficult to revert their attention from an argument to something else, talking about pets always seemed to do the trick. In only a minute’s time, both Ren and Jonas were droning on about a shared love for bunnies. That was what Alex found a little weird. They may have fought only a minute ago, but would willingly squeal over animals if given the chance. Until, not even five minutes into their conversation she can hear right where the plan falters. Of course, Ren had once again thought it’d be great idea to boast about his ferrets. Jonas was fired up immediately, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing.  
    As the fight commenced once more before her, Alex sighed exasperatedly and began petting and cooing at her bird. “Little do they know, Kathy,” Alex smiled. “That birds will one day take over the world.”


End file.
